What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why can’t my wife just accept the fact that I’m going to cheat?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What are your thoughts on the dating app "scam"?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What is your craziest college sex story?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Make Nazis afraid again!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why do females hate MGTOW so much?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How can someone in your family purposely try to destroy your reputation?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

If atheists are so positive that there is no God, where is their proof that He does not exist?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

TEXT:

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Do you think the number of sissies is on the rise?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

When Kundalini is awakened accidentally, what can be done?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.